2022 was a roller coaster year. There were many ups and many downs. Together, they made life a worthwhile experience. Having a >1 year old in the house was hard at times and rewarding at others. Post vaccination, our lives were untied a little bit and we were able to travel within the country and meet family and friends. I was able to pick up badminton again and started to be part of a community of players. I also tried my hand at pickelball for the first time in Dallas, Texas. The weight of responsibilities caused burn out for me which I didn’t know I was capable of experience until that point. After that, I decided to focus on myself, read books on meditation and took a course on Shambhavi Mahamudra (offered by Isha foundation). It was a great experience that helped me get back to the state of living a happy life. There were many temptations in my relationship to call on the past and be transactional (given something to ask for return). However, I refrained from them and tried to focus on the problem or need at hand. My wife needed support this year on career and peronsal front and I tried to bethere as much as I could. I ended the year with 2.5 hour morning routing that I was able to follow 2 weeks straight:

  1. 5:30 am - 6:15 am - Exercise
  2. 6:15 am - 6:55 am - Read book
  3. 6:55 am - 7:15 am - Sit still and reflect
  4. 7:15 am to 8 am - Wake up my son and have breakfast together

My son and I have been able to spend quality 1 hour in the morning despite some work heavy days. In addition, it has given a big break for my wife so she can focus on resting and focus on other things. I could be doing better at communication in relationship. My words failed to carry my intentions at times leading to mis understanding on both sides. Despite best efforts, things fell short and something I wish to get better in 2023. With my transition to management, I had to take a step back from hands on work but still be connected. I am still trying to figure out the right balance for my team. I am still proud of my team and the fact that we were able to grow from a 1 engineer team to a team of 5.

Moving ahead…

2023 is going to a great year for me. I look forward to transitioning fully to management and more importantly, delivering amazing projects that have real impact to the organization. This will require some grit and a hell a lot of hard work but I am able to put in the time and effort towards it. I trust my team and I know they have the same appetite. On the personal front, I have a list of things I want to focus on in the order of priority

  1. Health - Exercise reguarly and more specifically, take good care of my heart. I want to be mindful of the food that affects my heart, exercise regularly and get active zone minutes in my fit bit. I want to reduce or eliminate muscle aches by stretching.
  2. Mind - Meditate or even sit still for atleast 15 minutes a day and feel good about it. It will part of my daily routine.
  3. Family - Spent quality time with family on a regular basis. I want to offer appreciation day(s) to my wife when she doesn’t have to think about family responsibility and simply focus on herself. My hope and wish is that she is energized, reconnects with herself and comes back with more to offer to the family.
  4. Community - Have a small but close group of friends I can turn to. Friendship requires bi directional support and I am willing to put in the time and effort.

Operating Principles

Don’t carry the past

Karma is when you let your past influence you negative ways. But it is hard to escape it but there is merit in trying. I want to wake up each day as a new person with no attachment to my past failures or pleasures instead only have the learnings that I can use to make my present and future an exciting experience.

Don’t live in other’s feelings

Many people around me want me to feel a certain way. I refuse to comply. My inner happiness won’t depend on how others feel about me and only I can make that choice. It DOES NOT mean I don’t care about others and not sensitive to sufferings of others. Quite the opposite. I will be tuned in to know and understand how others feel so I can be connected to them and help them (if they do need help) or enable them (if they do need enablement). However, it is their choice to feel the way they feel and I won’t be able to control that aspect about that and neither can they control mine.

Seek to understand first

One of the principles in Ray Dalio’s book on Principles is the “Seek to Understand”. This starts with simple questions with an open mind. This simple exercise that is hard to practice in reality has helped me in more ways than what I can list here. It has been hard. As a human, I always want to react negatively against someone who has done wrong. Resisting that and really trying to understand the motivation and cause of such acts is easier said than done. I do want to acknowledge that there are places and times where standing by and simply trying to understand is not appropriate but those are few and far in between events.

Health > Family > Work > Money

Having good health is going to be the most important thing for me this year. If I have good health, I can take good care of my family and when my family is happy, I am able to focus on work and if it is the right work for me, it wil give me financial stability. Yes, these are not very hard rule and the boundaries are blurry. For example, sleeping for 10 hours and exercising for 2 hours every day is going to give me better health than if I don’t do them. However, there is a trade off w.r.t time and what I have to accomplish in them. The good thing is, I get to define those boundaries and stick with them. But if I do have to choose between 2 equally important tasks in more than one of those categories, I will appy this rule

2 » 1 + 1

One of the perks of being in a mutually respectful relationship is that we get to bring our strengths to the table and amplify each other. I know I am not good at everything and I know that my wife is not either. However, when we operate together, we can do more than what we can do as individual. In 2022, I witnessed this first hand. Sure, it is sometimes it is hard to be stalled because the other person feels differently about a certain decision. It is frustrating at times. But, ultimately, things worked out for the best and I have learnt to appreciate that my way is not always the best way and there is someone who is also looking out for me and family.

Conclusion

Overall, I hope that 2023 is going to be a great year for me and my family and I am super excited about all the lows and highs it has in store for me to make me a better human being. My time on earth is limited and years are just markers that remind me of that elegant and inescapable reality. I appreciate it and look forward it.